A Calling to Write.

I challenge you to pay attention when you hear people close to you mention that you have a gift in something. Try not to let your pride or fears get in the way. Pride can sound a lot like “yeah, I really am good at xyz”. Whereas fear can replay in your mind as “who do you think you are?” I started the first route on this journey with an ounce of pride and hear me when I say this – that small amount of pride opened the door for an entire valley of fear! I don’t mean to discourage you, rather to let you in on this journey of mine from the start. I’m thankful my first attempt failed! And I’m thankful that God’s grace has allowed another chance to put Him first and let Him work through me versus trying to force His hand in something.
“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.” 1 Corinthians 15:10
It’s nice being able to look back and thank God for failure at my own attempts. I’ve asked God for years to reveal His purpose for my life on a surface level. The kind of surface that floats around everything else on my list. You know, the whole mentality of setting all of your goals, checking off your lists and asking God to give you all of the things you want to fulfill your desires. The kind of surface that preferred the second part of Psalm 37:4 and completely skipped over taking delight in the Lord first.
Take delight in the Lord,     and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
I never took the time to understand the meaning of delighting in the Lord. I just assumed that He made my heart the way it is and He knows what I want so He’ll give it to me. Sounds crazy, I know. But I genuinely believed it. It wasn’t until recently that I dug deeper into that to realize that the closer I am to Him and the more I enjoy His presence the more my heart changes and desires Him! Talk about crazy, I never thought it could actually work like that! I never imagined desiring God so much that I wouldn’t have the cravings to want what I am used to wanting! He is a promise keeper. And Psalm 37:4 is one promise that I can personally say has changed my life. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a long way to go in seeking Him before seeking his gifts! However, I am fully aware of the progress I’ve made, be it little in comparison to what i hope to make or not. I am full of joy knowing that I can celebrate my failures and my progress knowing God is with me and I pray you can too.
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